I've been trying to be much more intentional about stopping to appreciate where life has brought me from and to. As I add experiences to my rolodex I can't help but think back on the boxes I've broken out of.

**Trigger Warning**

I grew up in a broken and abusive home. My father died by suicide before I was born. My mother used me as a trophy for her own ego, bragging about my accomplishments while simultaneously murdering my spirit every chance she got and depriving me of a relationship with my Dad (step-father).

I left New Orleans when I went off to college. I knew I had to leave so I could experience a different way of living outside of my upbringing…

Well I haven’t done this in quite a while. A few days shy of 3 years to be exact. I’ve been avoiding it if I’m completely honest. I still don’t want to do it, but I’m choosing to be obedient because God told me to, and I’ve learned obedience is so much better than sacrifice. But when I’m honest, sometimes I just don’t be feeling like feeling, if you know what I mean. I’ve actually been working on that lately...allowing myself to feel. I used to think that if I started feeling I wouldn’t be able to stop and my whole day would consist of me sitting in a corner curled up crying or something. I’m learning that if I create space to feel that the feelings will pass through me and I’ll feel so much better on the other side of it. So...here goes with what brings me back to this space of writing and embracing another part of my truth.